*drkxpnkxluvxletters

Ok, I know I have gone on WAY too much about this, but...too bad. I miss elementary school. That's when I was close to him. God, why did I have to get older? I miss the good times we had together. The time I went to his birthday party. I remember he gave the guys camo goodie bags, and the girls girly light blue goodie bags. Except me. He knew that I hated girly crap like that, so he gave me one of the camo ones. I still have that goodie bag. I remember the time when we went to Saratoga Pizzaria [lol, with my parents]. I ordered an extra cheese pizza, and he got hawaiian. When we were driving him home, he held my hand. This is also a bad memory, because I nonchalantly removed my hand from his grasp. Also, the time when my mom drove us to Fresh Fields, and we were listening to the Lizzie McGuire soundtrack (shut up, this was when we were like 9). He said he loved that soundtrack, and that he had it. And do you know what I did? I laughed at him, and called him gay. And then there was the time that I said I was cold, and he offered me his jacket. And do you know what I said? No thanks. And then when he told me he liked me. Yeah. I said, ".....Oh." My picture is in the dictionary next to idiot. And then, of course, the time I kissed him. Yeah, that was bitchy of me. My feelings for him were latent, so I wasn't really aware that I liked him yet. So it was pretty much like leading him on. But I couldn't help it. He looked so happy. Is it horrible to see one of your closest friends happy? But then, the very next year, I had to tell him the truth. But guess what? After that, he moved to Iceland and never talked to me again. Well, until recently. But hey, it hurt. God, I am so STUPID. And I hate myself for not cherishing him when he was close. Now, he goes to a different school, and we hardly talk. If I could only get a second chance, I would be forever grateful.